i am currently sitting at my table, listening to distorted classical music being played over the speaker phone of my cell.

i am on hold for the CVS pharmacy.

i just finished a delightful meal. breakfast for lunch, to be precise. however, this breakfast for lunch will probably serve as my dinner, for it had so much delicious protein and carbohydrates that i will probably only have a little snacky before going to the big meeting tonight.

it was an infamously delicious ham, cheese and egg bagel. i ate it with relish. that is, i relished it, not that i put relish on it.

i relish relish. do you relish relish?

i do.

but not on ham, cheese and egg bagels.

on another note, vignettes are funny. i'm in a vignettey mood.

so, i am just sitting here, facing the window. and wondering at the mystery of our neighbor. apparently there is a old vietnamese woman who lives next door. in all of my years in this house, i have seen no sign of her, apart from the light in the window across from ours which mysteriously turns on and off. never have i seen a person in the room, even when the blinds are wide open.

i bet she's dead.

i bet her grandson killed her.

and there's a timer on the light in there.

oooh.

that would explain some things.

oh, speaking of neighbors, we have a neighbor lady who is a psychiatrist. i affectionately refer to her as "the psycho lady".

examples:

"oh look! the psycho lady is at our front door! uh oh!" [this happens once every few months]

"oh, the psycho lady is taking out the trash! that looks heavy!"

"hi, psycho lady!!!"

"hi, psycho lady's husband!"

ANYways, when we had the GIANT snow storm a few weeks ago, parking was very hard to come by on our street. innocent little lauren took said psycho lady's husband's parking spot. i just happened to be shoveling outside when the happy couple discovered lauren's car.

what followed was a stream of expletives and this note, which is now posted on lauren's bulletin board in her room:

and that's all for today. i have to go and buy things for stacey's wedding, like shoes and tights and.... relish.

not.

i leave you with this:

bye.