quote of the day

rachel, should i minor in terrorism?

- brielle

...

be afraid. be very afraid.

BREAKING NEWS!

no but seriously, lauren is taking this all really hard.

boots shmoots

today was the coronation of my 2009 boots season.

i wore my boots.

i was happy that i wore my boots.

i felt like stomping on things.

i love boots.

in other news, i have been greatly discouraged in my conviction that i should hail people walking in the opposite direction with a cheerful "hello!".

today two girls were walking on my street. they totally just stared at me when i said hi. they didn't smile. they didn't even do me the honor of ignoring me and pretending they didn't hear. and i was one foot away from them.

....

they were probably jealous of my boots.

ok. the end.

lauren's current screen:

PBS frontier house?

really, lauren? really?

(three posts in one day... oh yeah, baby.
this post dedicated to casey somerville.. :))

the mouse is gone.

oh, and i would also officially like to announce that the mouse is gone.

i've heard that mice can sense when there is extreme animosity and will just up and leave in such circumstances. either that or they will poop all over the room of the person who most despises them.

the former appears to be the case.

lauren and brielle have so much hatred in their hearts towards this innocent rodent, that their hatred has spilled over and poisoned our house.

the mouse has packed up and left, without being trapped or maced or beaten. it could sense the hatred, and it has gone.

let this be a somber lesson to you--- your hatred can affect the lives of others.

but, more importantly, it can affect the state of your own soul.

[condescending sigh]

the day of the TURDUCKEN!!!!!

first of all, can i just say that lauren's most recent blog title was deceptively exciting.

next of all, this is how i woke up this morning:

joanna: rachel! get uuuup!

rachel: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh [i make loud noises when awaking for deep slumber]

joanna: it won't help you to lay there any longer

rachel: [sitting up] joanna, is it weird that i woke up with the word turducken in my head? do you even know what a turducken IS?

joanna: your mom is a turducken.

rachel: hahaha..... a turducken is a turkey inside a chicken.. wait. a chicken inside a turkey... i mean, a turkey stuffed with a duck, stuffed with a chicken.

but anyways, the moral of the story is that, ever since i woke up, i have been randomly shouting the word TURDUCKEN!!! a lot. and then, when i drove joanna to school, i've been trying to imagine people as turduckens. like, there was a really bad driver and, instead of getting angry, i called him a TURDUCKEN and started laughing. because i was imagining a turducken driving that van. ... that is a hilarious mental image.

actually, i've been very vocal today.

yesterday, joanna was listening to Tchaikovsky's piano concerto [yes, i copied and pasted. i didn't know how to spell his name. i admit] and so i've been going around the house shouting "duun DUUUN DUUUUUUUN!" and then doing the violin parts, too. it's been fun. joanna was laughing at me a lot.

i love that concerto, though. you should listen to it:

speaking of joanna, joanna is the best. i always value our little car rides home. we talk about everything in our lives and it's always so cool to see how wise she is, even though she's practically a baby. haha. juuust kidding, joanna.

but i do love her. so much. she's not a turducken.

ok. the end.

have a good turducken day! may the turducken be with you!

i'm off to read my bible and then to work!

Fire Breathing, headstands, and pancakes

Last night, our student union had something called an allnighter. As we walked through, we saw tight shorted acrobats in the eating area lunging around and climbing on each other. We went downstairs and there was a some Indian music playing with people dancing all around and waiting to eat free pancakes. As we left, I told Danielle that this was the weirdest event I had ever been to and I don't think it could get any weirder. Like a dreamworld. We turn a corner to go to our car and we see people breathing fire. What the heck.

Then, we came home and Joanna did the most amazing head stand I have ever seen. She is an acrobat. Rachel did it too. Her head is tough. Stace did it. I tried. I failed. Video footage was taken.

This morning was magical. Waking up early, pouring coffee, sitting on the porch in the crisp air, windows open as some of my favorite girls come over to enjoy pancakes. Bliss. Oh. And Hannah brought me a new huge-o mug. Every time you sip, you see the quote inside the cup that says "Life is short, stay awake for it." I have a generous sister.

Joanna turns swwweet seventeen

Joanna turned 17 yesterday. Rach and Brielle had the idea to make her eggs and bacon before the break of dawn. Since I have been reading Julia Child's My Life in France, I had learned how to make classic French scrambled eggs. So we tried them out and they were oh so yummy.

"Let's make six eggs, put them on one plate, and serve them all to Joanna." -Rachel

Joanna's cop brother came over last night too. And so did BK. BK made a piano chocolate cake, which we devoured. Brett told us all about tazers guns, breaking up fights, and under aged drunkards.

Happy Birthday Joanna.

Bloar

... thats short for blog war. The trenches are being dug and Rachel and I are settling in for the long haul. Do your worst, we say. We laugh in the face of danger, in the face of Lauren, who happens to be our blogging nemesis. 

Maniac Mondays

There is nothing that has happened today that is really worthy of the term "maniac", but I thought it fitting for the word "Monday". First of all, we laid down mouse traps. There has been much fascination and even dissension about the kind of traps we purchased. You are entitled to your own opinion. We purchased them and are trying to using them. Last night, we put them in areas we have seen poop. The thing about these traps is that the mouse can still be living when caught. So basically, I set my alarm for 6, but decided to stay in bed until I knew Stacey was up. Then she would be the first to see it. She was completely unaware of my plot. However, we have yet to catch it in spite of our efforts. Rach even used organic peanut butter in case it was a healthy mouse.



Brielle and I woke up early to take the 7am yoga. We saw the sun rise and Brielle loved doing downward facing dogs and child's pose. Brielle will become a gym junkie. I am calling it. Joanna wore Indian boots today. Every time I see her I have made tribal sounds. She loves it, so if you ever see her wearing them, feel free to make the sound.

Today at work, a little boy came up to me on the playground and told me in a very rushed, yet animated manner, that he was lion man and had claws that came out of his hands. "Space man is my leader." "Why is space man your leader?" "Because he has power over me". Cutie kids.

OH. I forgot this. Rach and I disposed of this unknown substance under our kitchen sink. A mixture of fat and dripping water we suppose. I would upload the picture, but I think I can only upload 4 at a time.

Well, readers, if you have endured through this post, I commend you. Stace and Rach will entertain you at another time. For now, I will have to do for you.

Adios my deeeearrr amigos.

yeeeess, YEEEEESSSSS.....

muahahahahahahahaaaaaaaa

this is going splendidly. quite splendidly. 

lauren's participation on the blog has made everyone more impassioned and interested in the blog. stacey's writing, lauren's writing (even if it is about homegrown tomatoes...?). 

this morning i was greeted with both of them sitting at the kitchen table across from each other with their macbooks poised in opposition. one black macbook, one white-- a visual representation of the conflict between them. 

they typed furiously.

they glared furiously. 

they posted furiously.

stacey is secretly in love with this mouse. lauren thinks it's the most despicable thing on earth. brielle just likes to kill things. she is a perfect tool in lauren's vengeful hands. yesterday, she was so close to spraying the mouse with mace (i had to physically restrain her.). today, she was prescribing treatment options for our house, most of which included the most horrific ways to kill mice that i have ever heard of.  have you ever heard of an electric mouse trap? it's like the electric chair for mice. how wicked. 

anyways, i just wanted to provide an objective perspective to all of these various goings on.... 

as far as this blog goes, this is just what i planned.

How I started the day...

Last night at 2:00am Brielle and I saw the mouse that lives in our house.

It just scampered here and there looking for a place to find warmth and comfort.

It was the tiniest mouse I have ever seen. So adorable and small. It's little body 

took up about 1/2 an inch of floor space.

I saw it. 

I admired

I respected.

This morning I woke up and went out to greet Lauren as she studied Biblical Womanhood  and the quiet, gracious feminine heart from her Bible on the porch in the chilly morning air as the dew was just slipping off the blades of grass that adorn our front yard. 

Stacey: Good morning Lauren! 

Lauren: didyouheartheNEWs?!!

[ pause ] 

Lauren: you had to have heard.

[ I am not even conscious yet ]

Lauren: there is a mouse.

[ immediately my heart returns to the the idyllic picture of the miniscule animal that I have affectionately named charlie ]

Lauren: we are going to kill the mouse. we have to kill it. we are going to kill it. 

...

thanks lauren. 

nice to see you too. 

what a way to start the day.

Mouse Mornings

We have a mouse in our house. There was poop on the counter. There was poop in my room. Brielle and I are committed to killing the rodent. Actually, Brielle got her bat and mace out and was ready to REALLY kill the mouse. So the plan is to get mouse traps and kill it on Sunday. However, Stace has commented that the mouse is too small to set off the trap. And she thinks it's cute. How can you think a rodent that drinks out of toilets and eats trash and resides in dirt is cute? I don't know. I just don't know.

Also. Outdoor class was great. FYI. While we were stretching, a man came out of the bushes and in a loud, booming voice said "DISTURBING TRANQUILITY". My friend Annie and I laughed while everyone else pretended it hadn't even happened. So good.

Oh. And I forgot. Someone gave me a fresh tomato the other day. May I just say that homegrown tomatoes are a completely different vegetable than the store bought kind. I cut it up, put basil and salt on it, and ate it.

Thursday Happy Hour

Today is Happy Hour at the gym. Every Thursday, the UMD gym hosts a class for students to take that breaks up the normal gym routine. Last week, it was a Michael Jackson tribute. Today is Outdoor Conditioning.

Classes at the gym are intended to be for exercise. However, if you are me, you get no exercise because you go with friends, stand in the back, and laugh out loud throughout the entire class as you pretend to kickbox someone that is not even there. And your mind can't relax while you are doing yoga moves because you are busy wondering what the heck the guy in the back came to an all girls yoga class for. Well. We'll see how today goes.

First post. Done. And I know Rachel and Stacey won't laugh. And they might even kick me off of the contributor list. But I'll find a way to get back on. And continue posting about interesting topics such as these. And no one even reads this blog, so how can it matter if my posts are not that funny? I can be the poster of the bunch that writes about gym classes. Yes.

new author

dear blog minions,

after much consideration, i have added lauren as an author in this blog. this is mostly because i am stinky and haven't posted in months. however, lauren's author privileges are dependent on how funny her posts are. so far, her proposed blog posts include: "our morning routine" and "lauren makes coffee". those don't sound funny. next, i'm predicting "lauren is an amazing homemaker" and "lauren's awesome quiet time". haha.

lauren just informed me that it's ok if she's not funny, because she'll be the "not funny poster". that is not ok. i have a reputation to uphold.

hahaha. oh lauren. i love you.


-------



ALSO, in recent news, stacey just informed us that, because Obama is on campus, for no reason, our professors will be patting us down to make sure we don't have any weapons on us. she lied. she laughed. i think she didn't go to the obamarama because they were going to pat people down.

recent quote:
stacey: "no offense, you are a homemaking goddess, but this coffee is disgusting."

---
lauren: but now there's so much pressure! who even reads this?
stacey: everyone.
lauren: really?
stacey: i gave it out to all the ROTC guys last year.
lauren: (silent horror)

(not really)
(hahaha)