i hate pedestrian crosswalks

i just hate them. they are, by far, the most awkward part of every day for me.


i hate the uncertainty of knowing whether a car will stop or not. the driver could be like me, and forget to look for pedestrians until it's too late.... so i always end up waiting way too long to cross.


i hate the weird "walking across the road" part, when the car just has to wait there watching you. the driver could be in a big hurry, and i just rudely disrupted his journey. i hate it when pedestrians walk as slow as they possibly can in front of my car. it seems so snobby.... so i always end up doing this extremely dorky jog/walk which is so unwieldy with my huge backpack and (sometimes) art portfolio bouncing around wildly.


i hate the question of whether or not i should actually acknowledge that the car exists by nodding or smiling or waving. the driver could be a stalker or an axe-murderer who would follow me home if i made eye contact.... so i always end up somewhere in between, with a half-committed smile, not establishing eye contact or maybe mouthing "thank you" into the air.


i also hate how, at the pedestrian crosswalks at lights, everyone ends up going over at the same time, and then we're stuck in a kind of angst-y "don't acknowledge that the other person exists even though you've been walking next to them for fifty yards" huddle.... so i always end up crossing the street to the sunny side of the road, and being all sweaty by the time i reach my class. gross.


so lame. so awkward.


if i had it my way, and these strange social rules of conduct didn't influence my actions as much, i would smile and wave at crosswalks, as i walked swiftly across, and i would say hi to the people stuck next to me waiting for the "walk" light to eliminate awkwardness.... that's probably expecting too much from myself, though. maybe i'll just stick to awkward.


oh, and p.s. i have soo many more pictures that i'll put up soon. kate has them on her computer, so... yeah. and i have a test tomorrow.